God is More than Enough...

I read Jaeson Ma's blog this afternoon and found this entry that he wrote about 3 weeks ago. It kinda summed up some of the things that I was feeling this past weekend and I was really encouraged by it. I am thankful and amazed at how God has used Jaeson Ma's testimony and articles to inspire me this year. Am sharing this in hope that you guys will be encouraged and inspired too. God bless.

Yinz

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Wrestling Through...

Life isn’t always fair. Seldom does life turn out the way we hope it does. When we are young we have ideals and dreams. We believe anything is possible and the world is our frontier to conquer. As we get older, many of our hopes get dashed, our dreams become forgotten and our expectations are shattered. We can’t predict exactly how life will turn out, not for ourselves or anyone else.

Many people I know are frustrated, discouraged, depressed, hurt or bitter at life. When things in life don’t turn out the way we want them to, it’s easy to get upset and lose trust in ourselves and other people. I’ll be honest, through the years although I’ve had many ups, equally I’ve had just as many downs. I’ve had major disappointments in my relationships, my family, my pursuits and dreams, but what do you make of it all?

This past weekend I decided to take a day out and just “drive”. I have the luxury of being able to live around the most beautiful beaches in the world here in Los Angeles California. I decided I would go and take a Saturday to just drive towards Malibu where there is a 27 mile stretch of gorgeous beaches and coastlands. I wanted to just get a way, get alone with God, pray and spend some time thinking about things I normally don’t get to think about.

Normally, I’m so busy doing projects, meeting with other people, or helping other people that I hardly get any time to think about things that are important to me. We tend to push things that are important to us, or things that are too hurtful to think about, or issues we don’t want to confront deep down into our subconscious. We sort of just keep going and going in life when these issues are just too hard to understand or to deal with.

Well, this weekend I was able to get away and “confront the issues” that have been on my heart. I was going to wrestle with them myself and with God. I ended up finding a random beach café on the coastal highway. I was hoping that somehow God would lead me to a quite destination, some secluded beach where I could walk and talk with God. When I felt this strong leading to make this turn into this small entrance to this beach café, it turned out to be the most beautiful and perfect spot! It was a beach cove, with a secluded and quite beach and I could walk for miles on my own with time to myself.

I ended up spending the day walking the beaches, and pouring out my heart to God. I kept telling him all the different things that I wanted, I desired, things that made me disappointed, personal struggles, people who hurt me, and dreams that were dashed. I also shared with Him my hopes, my plans and my deepest wants that not anyone knows of… it was great to just get it out. We need to do that sometimes, just let go and let God take our burdens, we may not find the answers but just knowing that He hears and that He cares is enough.

When I started my walk on the beach my heart was heavy, burdened and weighed down. I didn’t even really know why, but past issues, pains, and hurts just began to surface. I wept, I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I sang, I was still before God and in the end I knew He heard me.

I came to my own peace with God and myself. If I never saw the desires of my heart fulfilled, if I never got those things in life that I really wanted, if things never did turn out the way I would like to have planned, if my hopes and dreams were never realized, I would be okay. Not because I want to be defeated, but because indeed just knowing God, and having a relationship with Him was more than enough. I only asked God for one thing, “Wash me clean of my sins and keep me faithful to the end!” When I die, I only ask that I die with one thing in my heart and that is… integrity.

God bless,
Jaeson Ma

Adapted from www.jaesonma.com (26 August 2010 entry for East Week Magazine HK)

Random Thoughts on Love

I just got back yesterday after 4 days and 3 nights in KL. I will at some point blog about the trip [at some point :)] but just had a random thought after those 3 nights:

- The greatest commandment is to love God and to love others as ourselves. As we have been shown grace, mercy and love by our God, we should also show grace, mercy and love to others in the likeness of our God.
- Worship is our response to God's love. As we are all different, there will therefore be many different expressions of worship to God. We need to learn to accept one another in our differences and strive for love and unity in diversity rather than merely conformity or uniformity.
- Transformation into God's likeness is from within, not from without. Just because people do not look Christian from the outside does not mean they are not true believers and followers.

Lord, Your love be the ultimate example of how I am to love. I want to love You with all that I am and I want to love others like You do. Fill me with more of Your grace and love that I may be able to love other with Your love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Forwarded Encouragements: You say, GOD says...

I was clearing out my draft blogs and found this. I don't remember the source but I hope it will inspire you anyways. ;)

You say: "It ' s impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I ' m too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I ' m not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

1 Corinthians 7: To Be Married, to Be Single...

I decided to blog about this touchy subject after encountering the following scenarios within the past 20 days:

1. At my cousin's wedding, my aunt asked me when will she get to attend my wedding dinner.. Okay..
2. While chatting to a homeless lady, she asked how old I was and said I should get married before I get along in years... that was pretty random...
3. While fetching one of the teenagers home after Youth Meeting, he asked how old I was and why I am not getting married yet... *sweat*

Three occasions within less than a month... I guess it is the perfect time to write on this subject matter.

I am obviously still single at this point and frankly and seriously, it ain't all that bad. I have to admit that for most part of my young adulthood, I idolized the whole idea of marriage. I had my personal grand plans about marriage: I wanted to be swept off my feet by the man of my dreams and be in a relationship and get married, latest by 28 and have my first child before I turn 30. Well, I have obviously by-passed my personal 'optimum' age for marriage and will also reach the big three zero in less than 4 months so yeah, my so-called grand plans have been shelved, or I guess been thrown out of the window. ;)

But as always, God has His wonderful plans and thanks be to Him for His amazing and abundant grace unto our lives. For a long time, I have always wondered why I am not 'wanted', but in the past couple of months, I am beginning to see more and more from another perspective, that it is really okay to be single. After years of struggle, I have finally experienced a breakthrough, all by His grace. I am thankful to God for GoodTV's interview of Pastor Jaeson Ma. I kinda 'accidentally' watched the interview, thinking that it was about Vanness Wu but I believe it was the best 'mistake' I have ever made in my life. The interview wasn't about Vanness Wu but on Jaeson Ma's testimony and I believe God used that interview to speak into my life. I was heavily impacted and encouraged through that message to commit to give my best to God all the days of my life and to trust Him as the real Author and Perfector of my faith and my life. A few days after that interview, I went for church camp and there, I was also touched by the Lord. Within less than a month, I received a long-awaited breakthrough, having failed for years trying by my own strength, and it was all due to His grace and strength.

I know and acknowledge that life is not a bed of roses and there will be days in which I would feel the 'pinch' of wanting a relationship but I do know that I want to desire more of God and I want to depend on His love to satisfy me more than anything else in this world. While I do still wonder whether I am meant for marriage, I do also know that all things are in His plans and whatever His plans may be, the blessed assurance that I have is that His plans are always perfect because He knows best and whether single or married, I will always have His love. As aptly stated by Eugene Peterson in his Message translation of 1 Corinthians 7:17:

...don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.

In a nutshell, I am very open to the idea of marriage and I want to give my best to my future husband and our children but one thing's for sure: I do not want to idolize marriage anymore. I want to desire more of Jesus than a life partner. Whether or not I get married, God's will is for each of us to be prepared as the bride of Christ for the coming of the Bridegroom. Rather than to spend the time worrying about when I will meet the guy, I know I should spend more time and effort in preparing myself and the church for Jesus' coming again. So my conviction is that right here, right now, there is a purpose for me to be single in this season. My life is not defined by my marital status. However long God wants me to serve and honor Him as a single, by His grace, I will serve Him with all I am and as best as I can in every way. And I know that His grace is sufficient for all of us. ;)

P/s: Btw, if you are interested to know, I told the homeless lady that it is okay if I get married or don't get married and I told the teenager that it's okay cos I am in God's will and purpose. But I guess my favourite was my reply to my aunt (and honestly, without any malice intended): "You wait lah."

Romans 12

As I struggled with some unhappy thoughts tonight, I was reminded of Paul's sharing in Romans 12 which I had just read a couple of days ago. It brought a lot of comfort and peace to my heart and I hope you will also find hope and rest in God, just as I did. ;) Enjoy!

Romans 12 (The Message)

Place Your Life Before God
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

3I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

Something To Be Thankful About Everyday... ;)

Lord, thank you for the food in my fridges. Many times, I know I take these small little things for granted. Thank you for your provision and for reminding me to practice the lifestyle of a true worshipper through living in gratefulness daily. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen!

My Idea of Home-Cooked Lunch

This was lunch for today.

I have decided to turn over a new leaf and lead a healthier lifestyle; hence I've been trying to eat healthy for the past 24 hours. Fine, it isn't long but hey, at least I'm still on it! By eating healthy, I do not mean I am doing the whole no carb. regime. I still take carbs but just less; mostly at breakfast, a bit at lunch and minimal at dinner. I was in the mood to whip up my own lunch today and since there were ingredients available (the benefit of having family members who cook daily, unlike slackers like me), I threw a few things together: Romaine lettuce (I THINK they are Romaine), tomatoes, cucumber and 2 eggs and voila, I have a salad! Took me about 45 minutes to finish preparing the salad because I had a last-minute inspiration to throw in some steamed chicken and prawns. It was nice and very filling. Would be perfect if I had some cherry tomatoes, plain yogurt and some nuts in the salad but I guess whatever I had was also good enough. So contrary to what we usually think or believe (that "Salad chiak beh pa leh!"), they can be very filling and satisfying to your tummy. What are you waiting for? Go make a salad today! ;)

Unconditional Love

God,

You amaze me with Your love, how You love each of us despite our unfaithfulness, despite people not loving You back. I am finding it so hard to love and care for people who don't love us or care for us in return. In fact, I feel like it is almost a betrayal. But I guess that's what unconditional love and giving is about - we cannot give love and expect the people to return the love and we cannot give and expect to receive something back. Struggling to accept the fact and am finding it hard to be like Jesus. ;(

But thank You for reminding me about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

The more I read through the verses, the more clearly I see that I haven't truly mastered and understood Your true meaning love. I am a direct opposite of what the verses say. But Your Word is not to condemn but to lead us in Your perfect ways. Lord, help me embrace Your Word and emulate Christ in all that I do daily. Even when things get tough, help me to cling on to Your grace and peace instead of allowing myself to wallow in the mud of anger. I am in need of Your love and grace each day. I love You, Lord and I place my trust and hope in You alone.

Psalm 42: 11
11Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.